The Duckmeister wrote:I've got the biggest HPV race of the year next weekend, and on top of the usual pre-race jitters that start happening as race time approaches, I'm a bit edgy about my fitness. I had a bout of glandular fever earlier this year which kept me out of the first couple of races for the year, but since then my fitness has been coming back reasonably well. But I can feel that I'm still not 100% there; I'm able to smash out a fairly normal stint when I only need to do the one, but my fatigue point is a fair bit lower, and my recovery time a fair bit longer than normal. Three stints in 24 hours, plus the team management responsibility I feel is going to take a huge toll on me.
Duckie just do your best! GF is a truly terrible disease to get over (although I know some do shake it off quickly) it seems to resurface in others if you get too low. Remember the primary goal of your team was to race together to raise awareness of depression and to keep it on a short leash or confined to it's kennel by having fun doing something you enjoy. I'm sure your team will understand & I know you will do your best, but don't beat yourself up about it, that will only set you back further.
The most frustrating thing is that when you are having a hard time finding motivation to train (for whatever) either due to illness, depression or even just not being able to face crappy weather you kick yourself repeatedly for it, compare yourself to others (who usually have vastly different circumstances) and that just makes you feel even worse. Victor & Steven I hear you!! I'm honestly of the opinion, that in these instances just getting out and doing as little as 5 minutes and patting myself on the back for achieving that is better than telling myself repeatedly that I've failed to do a massive set.
The only time you can really beat yourself up about a crap performance is when you truly are on form, all the circumstances are perfect for a great race and you just didn't try. I'm pretty sure those of us who are honest with ourselves truly know the day when we just didn't perform because we didn't try hard enough and we also know when we gave everything we had and came up short because there just wasn't enough in the tank. The latter of those 2 scenarios isn't really a day to be disappointed with!
Best of luck to all of you
A rather corny saying but quite a good one - Aim for the stars, even if you fail you'll end up on the moon!