Helgirl wrote:damhooligan wrote:SpanishMan wrote:[
I am soooooryyyy... but I disagree with everyone of you. I *know* what it's like to be responsible and raise a child, etc. I already have an 8yo son. Yes, I did sacrifice a lot of time in the first year or two and of course it was well worth it and I don't have any regrets. But as soon as things started to take a routine, I went out and enjoyed myself too! Life is not just about the kids, when you have kids. And please don't think I am being selfish here. In fact I am a very generous man when it comes to sharing time, etc, but I have a life too!
My partner agrees (fortunately) and she has a life too, which is to spend it with me and vice-versa. We believe that the kids are important but they are not "everything" in terms of giving them all your time. A relationship needs to work first and without it working, then how can the family be united and live together? The worst thing to do in my view, is to give your kids everything and leave no time, nothing for yourself and your partner. How could love (which is hard work really - some would argue harder than raising kids alone!) flourish if all I did was spend time with the kids (or my partner) and we neglected each other?
Times have changed my friends, and raising children requires attention, love, understanding and guidance. I am all for that, but when the kids are off to sleep, it's mommy and daddy time!
And when it's during the day, we'll be taking turns on occasions (note I said occasionally) so the other can go off and catch up with friends, go on a ride, spend time alone, meditate, paint, etc. That is important too.
It's a balance in my view and the balance has to be where everyone receives equal share of love and attention, as long as everyone respects that the other needs time to be themselves. Obviously babies need love and respect and our new son will get all that and more, including a ride with daddy on the bike trailer and mommy not far behind (or in front). hehe
I am on your side with this one.
I heard a lot of parents say that they had to sacrifice everything for their kids, and i never agreed with that.
Yes you make sacrifices , but not everything.
Altough i don't have kids of my own,
I do look after my girlfriend kids.
Have to say I agree with you guys on this one, I have 2 kids (5 & 2.5) a more than full time job 40+ hours a week as does my husband...I ride & swim (he doesn't), he hits the gym (I don't)...
but our kids are AWESOME, yes they do have to go to childcare, but we talk to them, play with them and most importantly STAY SANE by maintaining our own space & interests...
Yes you make sacrifices, but not everything and if a child gets EVERYTHING thrown at them what kind of adult will they be?
and Spanishman...don't sweat it about the baby thing...I STARTED riding a bike due to injuries sustained after having #2 Riding is one of the BEST things you can do, stable back & pelvis, great cardio, relaxes you...get yourself a clunkier bike (to slow you down) you strap the baby seat on the back of yours and away you go...
Give it at least 3 months for any scars or swelling to heal take her out and get her on a really awesome bike and have some fabulous family time...beach road won't be far away!
Good luck with EVERYTHING!!
Thanks. It's pretty good now.